So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
