weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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