If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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