Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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