Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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