Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
