I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
