So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
