all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
