At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
