How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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