"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
