Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
