no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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