similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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