it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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