Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
