Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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