Me. At least after what I've been through.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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