walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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