no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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