Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
