Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
