come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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