its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
