Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
