super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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