eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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