I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Watching her eat just hurts me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
