Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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