So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
