Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
