Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
