I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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