She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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