I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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