Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
they need to just BURY HIM!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
