Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
