i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The struggles of a small town man whore
is that a dick in a sweater?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
