Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
