small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
