My friends, they love my intelligence
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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