goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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