Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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