Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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