I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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