i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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