Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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