Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Fuck appropriateness.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
