His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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