I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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