Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
